Introduction

Hello Readers! Welcome to my Trich Diary.  The reason I am starting this blog is that many of us who pull out our own hair spend a lot of time thinking that we are alone. That there is no way that anyone else is going through the same thing, and many of us suffer in silence, with no one to talk to about it. Or, we  have people who know about it but can not really understand.  Many of us are sad and uncomfortable because of this disorder, and many do not know what it is called. We have people who love us but can not relate. This blog is to help all of the aforementioned people, us Trichsters and the ones who love us.

Although I did not name the culprit, the disorder we suffer from is called Trichotillomania.  Although it is not quite as common as many other illnesses, Trich is much more common than you would think. Despite the fact that only 4% of the population is diagnosed, many people suffer from trich without ever being diagnosed, either because they think it's a quirk and don't realize that there is a name for it, or because they are too embarrassed to seek help for it.  And many of us have been in one or both of those positions before finding out what was going on with us.

Another major part of the battle, is that no doctor has found the cause or cure for trich (YET) and since each case is different, responses to treatment will be different for every person.  There will be many things that we try that do not work, however it is very important that you DO NOT ACCEPT DEFEAT AND NEVER STOP TRYING!. There has to be a way for us to beat this. I have read web pages where people claim that they just stopped one day on their own.  While they make it sound so easy, I'm sure it was a lot more difficult than they let on.  I have also read that some people have used hypnosis, or therapy to stop them from pulling. I myself have stopped twice, once for almost a month and once for about three weeks.  Both times I fell right back into my habit of pulling and felt terrible afterward.  And I couldn't really talk to anyone about it because I thought those closest to me would be disappointed in me, so I suffered in silence.

Before going into my accounts of what is going on for me, I'll give you some of my background with Trich.  I started pulling my hair from my scalp strand by strand at age 12. I'm not exactly sure what made me pull out that first strand, but after that first one, I couldn't stop. It felt good to my scalp physically, so I just kept pulling.  Eventually I noticed that there would be sore spots in my scalp without me doing anything to it, and pulling the hair from the sore spots was the only thing that made them feel better. I did this for about 4 years until i had made significant difference in the look of my hair. Someone recommended I wear a scarf or hat to keep me from pulling, so I wore a bandana constantly from 9th grade until 10th, when we put weave in my hair, which also makes it quite difficult to pull.  But that didn't stop me, I would pull when it was time to wash my hair, and it seemed that the hair glue made the sores get worse. By 10th Grade it was so bad that I had to wear wigs to cover up my pulling.  It wasn't until 11th grade that I was diagnosed with Trich. Through all of this, not one person I knew, knew the REAL story behind all of my hair issues. I saw a therapist and a psychiatrist weekly who tried to help figure out the reason behind my pulling, patterns and sought to help me to stop. It was extremely helpful and I began to regain my confidence, but I still didn't stop pulling. Unfortunately my coverage no longer would cover me seeing the good doctors, and it got pretty rough again. At about age 18, I got my hair to grow enough to get it braided up, so that it would both grow and be impossible for me to pull. however, this still did not stop me completely. about two years and a few weaves and braid styles later, I was back in wigs, and moved to North Carolina for college. I pulled consistently all through college. I would trance out while studying or reading, or just sitting still, and pull for hours, sometimes all night, and then feel badly and cry before finally falling asleep, looking at the piles of hair in my lap or on my books. Now a recent graduate, at age 25,  am still pulling, and have made myself nearly bald, and managed to keep this from all of the people around me. Many of my family members don't even know, including sisters and brothers. Some know I pull, but don't really know how bad it is.  Last night I had an emotional episode with my trich, and today I decided to blog about it, because sometimes we just need to know that we are not alone.

So once again, welcome to my Trich Diary. I hope I can help someone. Thankyou for reading.